Pills! Pills! Pills!

Do you ever feel like you take so much medication that your life is one big unswallowable pill? Or maybe it’s a cyclical routine that you’ve got down so well you don’t even have to think it through? You could be either of those people and that’s okay!

Medication can play a huge impact in the lives of people with mental illness. I remember my life four years ago. There were zero pills scheduled in my daily life but there was instead a huge vat of pain, confusion and general disassociation with life. Now, there is the morning popping of pill bottles and the evening music of opening pill packets that have produced an overall well balanced and happy individual. But still the frustration that I have to live life on a timer waiting for my next dose is not an uplifting realisation. And some days quite frankly I don’t want to do it anymore.

Today was particularly adept at pushing my boundaries when it comes to how much medication I will willingly put inside my body. Why? Well it seems that on top of the medication already required to maintain a normal stream of consciousness I now have the pleasure of adding some vitamins for my deficient body as well. Hooray!

But seriously it can be really frustrating to stay positive when you feel like a human pill depository instead of well, a human. At the end of the day I need to remember the good that comes out of it all. Yes, it is a sometimes draining process and yes, sometimes I think life would be nicer without living each hour trying to remember if I’ve taken everything for the day. But like I said, I push myself to remember the good. And that good is a stable and positive individual who isn’t going to let frustration get in the way of healthy life choices. Hooray!!

Does anybody else feel the frustration? Let me know your story!

Anna xxx

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