Feeling a little flat…

Well today’s post is very much exactly what the title indicates. I am feeling a bit flat right now. It comes as no surprise as for the last two weeks I was very much on the upside of bipolar disorder so naturally it’s time that my brain crashed and burned, and everything went back to its usual capricious gloom.

A truly inspiring and uplifting introduction if ever there was one.

But seriously, feeling flat or bummed out can really affect one’s mental health so talking it through can only improve the situation. I believe that returning from a beautiful week-long holiday in the gorgeous Australian state of Tasmania was definitely the catalyst for my current mindset. You see, it’s very hard to return to your somewhat empty lifestyle after you’ve spent the week partaking in engaging and scenic activities. I know what some, or even a lot of people are thinking when I say that; surely, I should just be grateful that I went on a holiday. Surely, I shouldn’t whine because I’ve only been home three days. But like I said in the beginning, I wasn’t born with the luxury of a brain that I have complete control over. And sometimes no matter how many positive things are occurring, the little person in my head decides to change gears on me and send me off into the pessimistic mood that I’ve grown to both love and hate simultaneously. But alas, I digress.

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Now going back to my somewhat empty lifestyle. I do have actual reasons for feeling a little on the flat side, the most prominent reason being that at the moment I find myself unemployed. I don’t know about other people but having a mental illness and being unemployed is a deadly concoction that sends my brain into a lost and negative state of overdrive almost immediately. Having a job gives a person a purpose and a routine. More so, having a job means an income. When a person is lacking in purpose, routine, and are as broke as one can be, it’s no surprise at all that three simple days was enough to push me into my current mood. So, what can be done?

Well here’s the thing. I am technically a Registered Nurse, but I am in the final stage of waiting for my registration to come through. Without that registration I have approximately a 0% chance of getting a job as a Registered Nurse and I am left with a qualification that is basically useless to me. So instead of applying frantically for jobs with a guarantee to fail I am instead waiting patiently for my little email to arrive telling me that I am fit to work as a nurse. And until then, I am stuck with the negative moodlet attached to my gloomy sim self.

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Now there is some hope, as there usually is if one looks hard enough at things (and ends up with a painful headache). I feel that I am resilient enough that I can at least tolerate my current mood and still continue doing the things I love; gardening, painting, listening to music, and eating cake. These are my silver linings. And hopefully with a bit of luck my brain will soon decide to switch gears once more and set me back on a positive and happy pathway. But until then, thanks for listening to the rant. What do you guys do when you’re feeling flat? Send me a message to let me know!

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Anna xxx

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