We should totally just stab Caesar!!


Right this minute I’m a few seconds away from standing up and joining Gretchen. Why? Because relationships are frustrating and sometimes the other person starts feeling like Caesar and YOU WANT TO GET UP AND SCREAM ABOUT IT.

But unfortunately I do not live inside of a hilarious Tina Fey film. I live in the actual world where it isn’t exactly accepted to start screaming hysterically about an ex-boyfriend just because he put you in a bad mood. Not unless you want to be scheduled and take a trip to the mental health section of the hospital. So what exactly should one do then with all these feelings? Just hope they go away or turn into something lovely?


Well hun I wish that too but the chances of it happening are about as likely as me eating my left leg. So let’s think of some other ways to manage our all consuming rage.

Distract yourself. This is an excellent choice and is probably one of the most effective ideas that will get you through those Hulk-like feelings. It is precisely what I am doing now. I felt myself going into a little bit of a dark place that I know is not healthy so I sat down and started blogging. And I honestly feel about 10 times better just by writing down that I was blood-thirsty angry.


If you don’t enjoy blogging, writing in a diary or journal are also highly effective at helping to just get those crazy feelings out and help you feel a little bit more zen. If you aren’t into writing your feelings down because you think its cheesey or lame, well that’s fine too. There are many things you can do to distract yourself. Here’s just a few:

Listen to music, netflix, netflix and chill, go for a walk, go for a drive(SAFELY), make tea, make coffee, read, bake something, put on some makeup, call a friend, meet up with someone, go to the gym, paint a picture, watch some porn, eat popcorn, online shopping, knit or crochet something, watch youtube, go kayaking, go to the movies, smoke a cigarette (or don’t), smoke a joint (or don’t), start your own etsy shop, eat some fruit, eat some marshmallows, watch Jason Mamoma videos and look at his abs, play a game of cricket, buy a new pair of shoes, cry, glue sequins to things, read harry potter, listen to Taylor Swift, wonder who will die in the new GOT, dance in your room, dance in public, play with a dog…


I mean these are just a few things you can do to distract yourself from your emotions so they don’t feel so all consuming. The main idea is to be proactive; don’t just sit around and fester, actually get up, get out, get moving. To feel better you have to put in the effort to make yourself feel better.

And one very, very important thing to remember is that the goal of the exercise is to REMOVE yourself from the source that started the eye bleeding, vein popping, all rage-inducing feelings. That means if your ex-boyfriend is really annoying you, probably don’t pick up the phone and sit there trying to call him. I give these words of wisdom through lived experience.

So the next time something happens and you feel a tightening in your chest and your head feels dizzy and all you’re seeing is red, take a minute, breathe, and think of a solution. The smallest amount of change can make the largest difference. And you deserve to feel great. All the time. So distract wisely and enjoy!

(He is just divine. Sploosh)

*The contents of the blog are not to be used in lieu of authentic mental health treatment. Please contact an emergency or medical professional if you are having dangerous or harmful thoughts.

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